I have yet to come across one so need some advice.

For diplomatic reasons this topic reserved for female forum frequenters (and moderators ) only

Otherwise we would be in for an evening of macho posturing resulting inevitably in an onslaught of "why are chocolate bars better than men/beers better than women" comments.

Come to think of it, this looks like a topic which is probably going to make a lateral move to self pity: back to the "Jokes" section.

So I am going to sit back, grab a beer and watch the ranting and raving

GAMBRINUS...

surely we have to have the right to reply?
knowing our FEMALE FORUM FREQUENTERS.... i think
i`d rather take my chances with some of those iberian wolves

I think I have to agree with you on this one Swinging-well ,you know my love of Wolves!
But in answer to Pammies /Cowboys question of "Normal" I would like to change it to "Natural" and this is what is missing from our loves.
We do not live in natural surroundings but are fetterred by the trappings of the modern plasic world and by confines of house/domesticity/work etc.
After all, we have animal bodies, and if we didnt have all these confines I think life would be so much more fun for us all. Were different from other animal species in the fact that we stay younger longer-we like fun- to play games -make love because we want to-not just to procreate------
Dont we all really (men& women) want to just "run knickerless through the grass" or wherever -to be our true selves -to be "natural" or as Pammie says "normal"?
Good subject here Pammie ------ wolf -lover Ellie.

absolutely classic elle...!!
you really are on top form
but....i almost feel an impending flood of female opinion about to break,
and therefore shall remove my finger from the dyke...and get outta here!!

Pammie... you say you have come across one......well thats where the difference lays.... we men have !!!!!!!
and can.

never should be inthere... sorry

Of course Swingdinging(hope thats right?)-your last sentence may be misinterpetted --take another look!
I see most men as "lazy lions" -after all -women still do most of the work--- Do you think it takes just a bit of "mane stroking" --a little pawing by the lioness to get you going ?
On my previous message I speak of living in natural environment--should we go back to painting ourselves with woad or wearing fig leaves --no ironing board needed there-or maybe live au-naturelle on Carvoeiros lovely bay -all that sun,sea -now that would be fun------
Talking of natural environment---all Ive had to eat today is a banana for breakfast and another for lunch--so really--all I feel like doing at the moment is swingdinging through the trees-------- Ellie

Should have looked at the whole forum before replying as my deadly serious answer to this is in jokes - doh

However, having had a chance to reflect and re-evaluate - who wants a "normal" guy anyway

I want exciting, funny, daring, intelligent, witty, fit, good looking, fantastic lover, considerate, loving, risk taker, romantic gestures, impulsive skinny dips, sensitive and kind, mad and fun, owes nothing on his credit card

Do you get all this with "normal"

how did you get your hands on my c.v maddi...?

i was being totally innocent as usual ellie.....
though you are one to talk...!....."mane stroking"..?
however the idea of body paint, fig leaves and back
to nature does appeal

Hi Maddi,

I suppose I should have phrased the question differently but all the qualities you would like in a guy are great - if they are not already spoken for!!!!

As a single female, have been called very attractive by guys in UK and Portugal but the guys that all want to take things further are MARRIED Maybe I should have said where are all the genuine guys out there??? The single guys my friends and I come across seem to spend all their time looking into their buddies eyes. And no we arent the type of women who always put men down just wonder what is wrong with guys these days - even our Dads think younger guys these days are on another planet

Ok, this thread clearly shows that every woman is looking for her very own mix between Albert Schweizer, Brad Pitt and Bill Gates (bank account only). In Ellies case we have to throw in Johnny Weissmüller aka. Tarzan .

Most of the men on the planet are not and all of the women end up compromising.
I have lost count of the times women say to men "WHY CAN´T YOU JUST BE NORMAL?!?!?"

A few examples:
- Him coming home drunk at 5am wanting sex but unable to find the bathroom and inadvertedly peeing in the laudry hamper.
- Her wanting to go out to a nice dinner and finding herself at the "Ed´s all-you-can-eat in an hour" meat fest.
- end of a 3 hour discussion she could not win because he started replying to every question with "why?"

It´s a fight that cant be won, because by the time you get to us we have been corrupted by decades of beer/car/instant millionaire adverts, playboy mags and mothers telling us what we should not do so we go and do it just to spite them.

There is one basic set of rules that can help you find peace a whole lot quicker when it comes to those frustrating moments of conflict:
Rule nº 1: Men are always right.
Rule nº 2: If men happen to be wrong, rule nº 1 applies.
Simple, eh?

Gambrinus, I understand the rule to be:-

Womens' faults are many but men have only two,
everything they say and everything they do

Pammie, I know the man I described is out there, he visits me every night in my fantasies

You are right about the great ones being snapped up, any women who found one and let him go would a fool

Sorry I am not with you on taking what my Dad says at face value, how would he know, he does get his shirts ironed, his tea put on the table, etc.

Back to you Gambrinus -

her very own mix between Albert Schweizer, Brad Pitt and Bill Gates (bank account only).

. . . and just as you point out it is a compromise, Schweiser and a sense of humour? Pitt and a brain? Gates and good looks? Who Knows

Most women do not marry the best looking, greatest lover,kindest, considerate, exciting, daring, etc guy they have ever been out with but the greatest all-rounder

And Swingdingin, thanks for the C.V., I am sure Elle and Pammie enjoyed perusing it but I know you have already accepted a position elsewhere (which was rather Pammie's point )

LOL - men can´t win, can they?

Most women do not marry the best looking, greatest lover,kindest, considerate, exciting, daring, etc guy they have ever been out with but the greatest all-rounder

With more than 50% of all marriages going down the drain to any extent in under a decade, I would say most women get that wrong too.

Meeting somebody becomes a parody of life because poeple tend to put up so many defensive barriers that they change completley (I have been proven guilty of that) and you end up getting something different to what you bargained for.
Admit it, its the little things that really peeve you off - toilet seats, ironing, shoes on the table, driving comments - things you only discover over time - just so many little details that acumulate into one "mother of all arguments" - this being the most pointless argument of the lot, because you are not going to teach an old dog new tricks that easily.

So women can´t win either - excluding the "lucky break" - unless you are going to spend eternity looking for Mr. Perfect, you will have to settle for a compromise.

Now I am going to turn this one around and ask: GUYS, WHAT IS A NORMAL WOMAN?? (no 10-minute-silence innuendos, please)

(I think you will find, that men (luckily for the human race) are a lot less picky. )