escape from carvoeiro.

jamdodger · Post by **jamdodger** » Sun Dec 07, 2003 5:03 pm

Hi Martin, Very wity,Im only concerned about the increasing numbers of manic golfers there are to be dealt with and the never ending supply of balls available, and the amount of bunkers there are to hide in. May I suggest a start could be made by hiding the silly trousers and dopey hats and letting the tyres down on the trollies,and why bother to feed them,they have their balls in their mouths most of the time anyway. All this sounds really exciting,would their be a smal part for me,say as wadrobe and dresser

Ellie,don't worry, I've had some of my greatest fun in haystacks,

none of wich were nearly as shapely as you.Can I please make your bacon wedges

Daft Fader

Maddi Ill willingly nockup a blackrussian for you

martin · Post by **martin** » Sun Dec 07, 2003 6:51 pm

well ms maddie or can i call you demi...yes with taking out a bank loan from bcci i have now hired bradley spit as your co star .hes to play the president...you will meet first after the crash of airdrone 1 in snarlers bar
when you will have to revive him

missy ellie will be standing on guard outside..from there we will have a number of golf battle bunker scenes...it will mean we will have to blow up cvo...but hey come on this is ART.

i hope that neither you or goldie will mind sharing your winnemandelabago motor home with bradley...of course we will give you both a bonus and you can sell your pics to ello ello magazine.
you know the sort of thing......"maddis and ellie relaxing on set in their cliff top retreat in downtown estombar"....i knows its inland but dont forget to factor in global snoring as the tides rise so inland retreats will become very desres

Goldies agent · Post by **Goldies agent** » Sun Dec 07, 2003 7:28 pm

Whadaya mean,Miss Ellie standing guard while Maddi/Demi/no Angie,"revives" Brad Spit!
Afraid Goldie wont go along with that one,says she did enough of all that soldiering in Private Benjamin! and she'd definitely want more of the "action".
So how about another of my "maturing nicely" ladies who Im sure would be only to willing to standin for the part of Ellie,namely the luscious lipped Kim Basinger,sizzle sizzle!!
Flame-coloured lips and sweater to match(one of Ellies favourite colours Ive been told)and long blonde tresses,she could act as decoy while Mads gets Brad away to that Estombar caravan.Or would all that "red" be too much of a distraction and bring all the traffic,especially golf carts to a halt bringing CVO golf resort to a complete standstill !
Red/Traffic! Theres a Jam here somewhere

tricky · Post by **tricky** » Sun Dec 07, 2003 10:08 pm

Look Martin - its okay it you want to employ amatures, but I am willing for a very small price (okay my equity card has run out) to grace your production with my presence. I dont think that anybody can match my talent or experience - I did appear on Junior Showtime when I was 10!
However, I am NOT sharing a dressing room with Maddi or Ellie
The Champagne belongs to only me!

martin · Post by **martin** » Sun Dec 07, 2003 10:54 pm

oh dear once you get a hit theres a writ...a bit of success...some want this some want that...i just want to get my own way thats all..i cant be more reasonable than that now can I?

we do need someone to marshal the mad golfer scenes...when they attack snarler bar...can you keep em in order with a number 7..that should PUT then in their place. can you handle this tricky?

i am still casting for the lead baddie..hes a sort of mad max guy with a swinging temper...any ideas?

we will be digging up the beach and replacing it with "real" looking sand from saudi arabia...and those white panted houses..yuk...so common...i think some thatching and elizabethan tudor timber frame barrat houses would look better....should make the film more appealing to a usa audience
...gee....those portogeese homesteads look kinda swell.

martin · Post by **martin** » Sun Dec 07, 2003 11:01 pm

just forgot to say that my relationship with our leading ladies is what might be termed tempermental

they have a temper
and im mental

(why is that man with a white coat looking at me????)

does anyone know a good cvo shrink....someone who understands me

guest 2 · Post by **guest 2** » Mon Dec 08, 2003 1:02 am

A bad movie with no end in sight

cowboy · Post by **cowboy** » Mon Dec 08, 2003 4:56 am

Not to worry..... Steve "The Great Escape" McQueen has agreed to take Cowboy's part in this Epic.

OK, so he's Dead..... But who would know his way around underground better than a Dead guy? (and, no, I couldn't get John Wayne)

cowboy · Post by **cowboy** » Mon Dec 08, 2003 7:24 am

Martin, I know this casting change is upsetting, but J.R. only wanted to drill stright down, and, as I read the script, we gotta dig sideways before we strike Oil.....Steve's our man for this part...trust me on this one Sweetheart. (that's Cvowood talk)

( Hey, I are getting Hip)

biffa · Post by **biffa** » Mon Dec 08, 2003 9:11 am

I'm cool with Michael D - about same age as me (!) and still seems to have a Fatal Attraction

Ellie · Post by **Ellie** » Mon Dec 08, 2003 12:34 pm

Well--at the risk of angering my female forum friends---Ive often thought that men age better and somehow "do" have that "fatal attraction"---particularly when they have silvery bits and slightly should I say rugged features? and "definitely"know their way around a lot more!
And of course--have confidence --which I find so very attractive-----
not forgetting the voice---yes--a deep, slightly gruff voice---sends shivers down my spine---mm----
oh lord Biffa---how can i go and get on with my digging now?

But sorry-Mick Douglas does zilch for me--how about Timothy Dalton for your part mm?
Coop--Steve Mcqueen---yeah can just see you doing a ton-up on that old Harley

martin · Post by **martin** » Mon Dec 08, 2003 12:36 pm

delighted biffa you are joining us on set....nice to have "attracted" you..it was a"close" call (fatal attraction glen close....yes?????)

i have also just had a word with the govenor of california...yes none other than arnie..hes agreed to take a small cameo role as the president of the junta do friguesia...hasta la vista baby!

not a word from our two starlets...lets hope they have not enticed by other work

does anyone think we should recast madi as as a badi
how about
mad maddi max ...

its nice to be so creative

Goldie · Post by **Goldie** » Mon Dec 08, 2003 3:44 pm

I wont stand for that!---Starlets indeed!----Top billing for me and Ange-or else

and if Mads going to be "mad" --where does that leave me----be careful--there could be "Elle to pay"

and Ill only act alongside Arnie--if he promises to put all his weapons away---else I wont play

maddi · Post by **maddi** » Mon Dec 08, 2003 6:10 pm

I can't be recast as a baddy, I want to wear gorgeous clothes and have some red hot action with Brad, I could have an evil twin that would be cool!

Maddi

p.s. shame you couldn't get John Wayne (alothough he very definately isn't my type!! ) but I do have his autograph if you could find a use for that . . . and Gregory Peck's, Frank Sinatra's, Ava Gardner's and the list goes on and on (but I won't!!) Do rather fancy Andrew Lincoln now I have seen "Love Actually"

Ellie · Post by **Ellie** » Mon Dec 08, 2003 6:26 pm

Being the Christmas season--I was thinking--it'd be a bit of fun to put on a CVO Pantimime--
If it was Cinderella -too young--I mean too old to play Cinders --but I could be the wicked (but sexy) strepmother---erm Mads the beautiful fairy --who could play "Baron Hardup"?Any offers?
what other pantos are there--such a time since i went to one Ive forgotten

as you can see--I havent got over the guinness yet!

escape from carvoeiro.

Escapism

Older men!

Protest!!

Panto!